The Lizzie McGuire Movie

This is what dreams are made of.

Erin:  Okay so, first I gotta point out: no one has a middle school graduation. It just isn't done. Second: None of these people actually looks like middle schoolers. I don't know a single middle schooler who looks or dresses like that. At all. Or, for that matter, I don't think there's a single high school that would send their prospective students on a trip to Italy.

Danni:  I want to go to Italy and meet a pop star who's only intention is to screw me over and ruin my friendships.  What's more, is that this friendship is with a kid named GORDO.  I would never stop being friends with a kid named Gordo.  You know, I once had a friend named Axle.  I thnk my life lost some of its luster when he moved away.  I always remember the whole cast of Lizzie McGuire having the worst clothes ever.... everyone except Gordo.  He's a genuis narcissistic oddball, set on logic and rationality.  I appreciate that in a middle schooler.  You know, I think that trio represents the human subconscious.  Call me a psychoanalyst, but Gordo is totally the ego, Miranda the id, and Lizzie the pansy superego.  


Life is tough when you're forced to wear a unicorn sweater.

Erin:  Oh, you know what, that totally happens to everyone when they go to Italy! Didn't I ever tell you about the time I went to Italy, completely evaded my adult chaperones without any suspicion, became an Italian pop star without anybody noticing, and ditched my true friends for people I didn't know, had corny lines and seemed like complete skeezes? 

The thing I don't really understand, thinking about it, is why Gordo is friends with Lizzie. Lizzie is a complete materialistic ditz who cares way too much what other people think of her, and Gordo is...not.

I think your analysis makes sense, although I've seen animated movies with more deep of character.

Completely off-topic, have you ever seen the movie Spirited Away?

 Danni:  I'm impressed.  I can't even accomplish such feats the next block over.  Gordo is friends with Lizzie only because they've been friends since day uno.  She's familiar and comfortable.  Unlikable, but constant.  Gordo being friends with Miranda makes just as much sense as being friends with Lizzie.  Gordo should be the loner kid that creeps everyone out, but totally becomes famous in 20 years and everyone pretends like they've been buddies forever. 
 
Yes, I have seen Spirited Away.   Good moive.

Erin:  I agree with your sentiments about Gordo. He's got more going for him than he lets on. Maybe he hangs out with Lizzie because he's secretly and subconsciously afraid of the success he would have without her? Some people are just like that - afraid of success. 

I don't really remember Miranda's characterization that well. I haven't seen the TV show in a long time and she's missing in the movie for some reason (I think they claim she went to visit family in Spain), though I'm pretty sure she was just a black-haired version of Lizzie?

This movie is really insulting to Italians. It's basically portraying them as clueless people who couldn't tell a fake accent from a real one. Wouldn't you know if someone was faking an accent if that's your accent originally and they've had no time to practice? And why is it that, if Paolo and Isabella are Italian pop stars, that no one finds it strange their music is recorded in English? or that they only speak in English? I would find that strange. Also, Lizzie's pale, so the explanation that she's blonde because she "went to the islands" doesn't really make sense. And what islands?

I thought so too, I liked it a lot. My mom refuses to watch it with me because it's anime.

Danni:  I think she was just a black haired version of Lizzie, probably added for diversity's sake.  Every Disney show is insulting to everyone who isn't American.  Remember that one Disney Channel Movie, "Step-Sister From Planet Weird" or something like that?  Where this alien family fleed to Earth to escape the evil bubble tyrant on their bubble planet, and everytime the wind blew they'd freak out and hide under the Earth family's SUV...?  Totally insulting to bubble people.

Erin:  Hahaha. I don't think I ever saw that one; the main character in The Color of Friendship is black though... And having black hair really isn't that diverse. Way to go, Disney. 

Come to think of it, I don't think I knew anyone that naive or stupid back in middle school. How about you?

Danni:  Well, Disney doesn't want to push it, you know... supporting diversity is like supporting racism against white people.  If black people are hired over white people while still being equally qualified for a job, how are we, the white people, supposed to stay on top?  It's just not right!
 
By the way, The Color of Friendship is VERY diverse.  A white person from Africa is totally supporting the minority... granted that girl was from South Africa, but whatevs....


The Lizzie McGuire Movie has got to be one of the worst lessons for Disney watchers everywhere.  "Yes, kids.  When you go to a foreign country, sneak away from the people you trust to ride away with some strange Italian man who says he's a popstar.  If he says he wants your help "performing", take his word for it!  You will become rich and famous as an international superstar!  I mean, honestly, what have you got to lose? Har har har".

Erin:  I don't know if I'd say Lizzie McGuire was the worst, but it certainly was the most obvious lesson in bad lessons. I mean she basically runs away, and what's the great punishment? She's getting grounded. If that were anybody from our high school on a class trip, they'd be like...expelled. Doc Martin would not put up with that.

Danni:  Oh, fo'sho.  More like get whisked away by a mob of human traffickers and sold at an abnormally large price for being a blonde, American virgin, but you know... getting grounded works too.